What you missed

Dear darling,

Late as I am, I wish to tell you what you've just missed this Valentine's day. I wasn't expecting any calls from you, neither any mails, etc. And then you emailed, wishing me a happy Valentine's day. Ah well, happy indeed. Strangely, though... the pain wasn't so much as it had been just a month back.

I know we are separate, and that you need some time, etc and all that crap. But imagine what could have been if I could wish you a happy valentine's day. You would have found flowers and chocolate delivered at your doorstep, you would have suddenly found balloons hovering over your mailbox with your name on it. I could have called you up, told you how much you matter to me and how much I love you. I would have ensured that every girl around you turned green with envy looking at the amount of pampering you received that day, and that too from a boyfriend who isn't even there. You know, this is the first time I'm in love with anyone... and I sincerely hope this to be the last. But things are not so rosy any more... somehow I feel a distance growing between us now, a sad distance that makes me miss you less and less. This Valentine's day, if I wasn't under this oath of silence, you would have thought you were the luckiest girl on earth. I don't know... but it seems ironic to me that I could not do what I wanted to do on this day all my life --- my first Valentine's day when I actually had a valentine.

Ahh... but so is life. I am not saddened too much... have sort of got used to the pain. I had started off this blog more to create my secret identity... I guess that can be managed some other time. Right now... this blog will only contain stuff that I wished I could tell people. I don't want any comments on this one. I am fine without others' smart opinions. At the end of the day, if you and I don't end up together, I'll keep this as a reminder for times to come. My internship is no longer certain, and however much I wish I could go there and be there for the summer, a certain part of my head wants me not to do that, wants me to stay away from you and everything that reminds me of you. I am doing much better now, without you... I just wish I could shower my love on you. It is your loss, dear... not mine. One less year of receiving unconditional love